Parents often ask me when is the right age to start chores and whether to give their children an allowance for doing chores.
Did you know that children as young as one can help out around the house. And guess what? They actually want to! It may seem surprising, but children actually want to feel like a contributing member of the household and they thrive when we uphold developmentally appropriate expectations. In fact, children who start chores at age 3 or 4 have better relationships, achieve more academic and career success and are more self sufficient than those that don't, according to Iowa State University.
So what is the best way to handle chores in your household?
1. Set realistic developmental expectations. A one year old can clean up their toys, throw something away in the trash and take their spoon to the sink after a meal. A four year old can help make dinner, set the table and make their bed. A seven year old can make their own lunch, help care for pets and sweep the floor. An eleven year old (and older) can help with the laundry, wash the car and mow the lawn. For a more complete list of age appropriate chores click here.
2. Be consistent with your expectations. Children learn best when things are predictable and consistent. If you expect them to clean their room every day they will eventually do it without any prompting. But, if you expect them to clean it up one day and do it yourself the next day, they will become confused about their responsibilities.
3. Making the decision about whether to give an allowance.
I do not think that children need to earn an allowance for chores. Being part of a family or a community means helping care for the family or community and the space in which they live. Picking up after yourself, throwing litter away in the trash, and being respectful of how your noise level effects others is about empathy and respecting people with whom you share space. Modeling and showing them this respect is one of the most effective ways to teach them how to do this. However, I also think that teaching children lessons about earning, spending and saving money is valuable experience. I recommend that children have to do some chores without receiving compensation. But, you could offer an allowance for doing an extra chore around the house (polishing silver, collecting the leaves, or washing the cars).
In addition to teaching children about responsibility (and lightening the load for parents), chores children can benefit from chores in the following way:
* developing an in increased interest in keeping the house clean
* aquiring new skills
* spending time away from screens
* learning the value of teamwork
* spending time with family members (doing yardwork, working together on a house project)
* developing new interests (picky eaters might take an interest in cooking)
So, "if you want your child to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders". (Abigail Buren). You might be surprised how much they enjoy it and how much it can help you out.
Did you know that children as young as one can help out around the house. And guess what? They actually want to! It may seem surprising, but children actually want to feel like a contributing member of the household and they thrive when we uphold developmentally appropriate expectations. In fact, children who start chores at age 3 or 4 have better relationships, achieve more academic and career success and are more self sufficient than those that don't, according to Iowa State University.
So what is the best way to handle chores in your household?
1. Set realistic developmental expectations. A one year old can clean up their toys, throw something away in the trash and take their spoon to the sink after a meal. A four year old can help make dinner, set the table and make their bed. A seven year old can make their own lunch, help care for pets and sweep the floor. An eleven year old (and older) can help with the laundry, wash the car and mow the lawn. For a more complete list of age appropriate chores click here.
2. Be consistent with your expectations. Children learn best when things are predictable and consistent. If you expect them to clean their room every day they will eventually do it without any prompting. But, if you expect them to clean it up one day and do it yourself the next day, they will become confused about their responsibilities.
3. Making the decision about whether to give an allowance.
I do not think that children need to earn an allowance for chores. Being part of a family or a community means helping care for the family or community and the space in which they live. Picking up after yourself, throwing litter away in the trash, and being respectful of how your noise level effects others is about empathy and respecting people with whom you share space. Modeling and showing them this respect is one of the most effective ways to teach them how to do this. However, I also think that teaching children lessons about earning, spending and saving money is valuable experience. I recommend that children have to do some chores without receiving compensation. But, you could offer an allowance for doing an extra chore around the house (polishing silver, collecting the leaves, or washing the cars).
In addition to teaching children about responsibility (and lightening the load for parents), chores children can benefit from chores in the following way:
* developing an in increased interest in keeping the house clean
* aquiring new skills
* spending time away from screens
* learning the value of teamwork
* spending time with family members (doing yardwork, working together on a house project)
* developing new interests (picky eaters might take an interest in cooking)
So, "if you want your child to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders". (Abigail Buren). You might be surprised how much they enjoy it and how much it can help you out.
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