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Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Tuesday Tip: Ending Homework Battles

8/29/2016

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​   Be Consistent.  Set a designated time for homework. Ideally homework is scheduled to be completed at the same time each day, with adjustments for extracurricular activities or unscheduled events. Consider offering downtime before starting homework – preferably unstructured play or outdoor play.
 
     Location, Location, Location. Consider your child and their temperament when deciding what type of space is best for completing her homework. Is she easily distracted by noise? Does she like to be near people? If she is left alone in her room will she play instead of doing her homework? Nobody lives in a library, but ideally your child has a space to work where there are no screens and few distractions.
 
   One Step at a Time. Your child (or yourself) might get overwhelmed by the amount of homework. Break the work up into manageable parts. Start with the one that is the easiest or most enjoyable for your child (let him choose).

     Gentle Motivation. Offer your child gentle encouragement while they are working on their homework. Praise them for their problem solving skills, concentration and their effort. Don’t rush them, but encourage them to stay focused. If they are losing focus give them a break.
 
    Give ‘em a Break. Taking short breaks can help increase concentration. Guide your child through 5-minute breaks in between tasks or when they are feeling frustrated or losing focus. Examples: Jumping Jacks, breathing exercises, stress ball.
     
    Process over Product. Remember (and remind your child) that this is your child’s homework and the goal of it is to learn. Homework does not need to be perfect. If you see something wrong, encourage your child to take a closer look at the problem, but avoid taking it over for them or shaming them for getting something wrong.

   Problem Solving.  Help them develop problem-solving skills (and persistence skills) by encouraging them to keep trying and solve the problem on their own. You can help, but don’t solve it for them.
 
     Know when to call in reinforcements. If there is still drama after trying these tips, consider asking for support. Meet with your child’s teacher to discuss their expectations and how to help your child be successful with homework. Consider a tutor or asking another student to help your child with homework. Call for parenting support to find out if your good intentions are inadvertently contributing to the drama.

     When possible, include your child in the decisions about how to handle homework. Ask them when and where they would like to do their homework. Offer them support, but encourage them to work as independently as possible. I know there is a lot of pressure on parents to hover over children when they are doing their homework, but the long term goal is for them to develop the skills to study and learn independently. 


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Tuesday Tip: Managing School Anxiety

8/23/2016

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Many children have started school and others will be starting soon. Transitioning to a new school year can be challenging and for some children it may cause some anxiety.



So what can you as a parent do to help reduce your child’s anxiety about school and  separating from you?
 

Respect your child's temperament
  • If you have a child who tends to be slow-to-warm up to new situations, practice patience as they adjust. 
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings and give them extra time and attention to adjust to the new school year.
  • Learn more about your child's temperament here. 

Prepare your child for the transition
  • Unfamiliar situations can cause anxiety for most, but especially for slow-to-warm children. Prepare your child for the transition and make it as familiar as possible so he has time to adjust. 
  • Take your child to visit the school (even if it isn’t a new school), make play dates with classmates, practice the before and after school routine, talk to your child about their school day, classes, teachers, classmates as much as possible. The more familiar they are, the less anxious they will be. 

Manage your own anxiety
  • Even when adults hide it well, children pick up on their emotions. Don't let your fears hold your children back. 
  • Parents provide emotional scaffolding for children. If a parent's emotions are dysregulated, a child won't be able to regulate their emotions.
  • The calmer a parent is about the new school year, the easier it is for the child to calm their own anxiety.

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Here are some tangible ways you can implement the aforementioned suggestions:  
  • Give your child lots of time and connection when you are together. Make time to connect before and after school (even if it's for five minutes while you eat breakfast or a snack together).
  • Offer your child empathy. Acknowledging their feelings of stress and anxiety can reduce these feelings.
  • Read them books about school transitions and about separation​
    • ​The Night Before Kindergarten (or Preschool) by Natasha Wing. 
    • The Invisible String by Patricia Karst
    • The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn 
  • Use a transitional object to ease your child’s anxiety.
    • Exchange bracelets with your child (maybe with a special message on it).
    • If your child likes the invisible string book then give them a piece of string to carry in their pocket as a reminder of your connection.
    • Give your child a note or picture of you together.

These simple strategies can go a long way with making your child feel a little more comfortable separating from you and going to school.
 
If your child continues to have a difficult time with the transition, reach our to your child's school or contact me for a consultation. 
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Tuesday Tip: Tackling the summer homework 

8/15/2016

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 Welcome to my Tuesday Tip. Each week over the summer I will post a  Tuesday Tip on how to encourage learning through play. Read my recent blog post to learn more about how free play supports deep learning. Today's tip is about managing those summer school assignments!
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     The first day of school is around the corner (or may already be here for some). Did your child leave their summer assignments until the last minute? Are your final summer days spent trying to cajole your child to do their work?

      I wish I could say that my own children have completed their work and we are enjoying a carefree end to the summer. But, I am struggling right along with you.

        There is a lot of debate about how much of an impact summer work has on children's academic development. And, if you have been reading my Tuesday Tips you know that I am a believer in encouraging children to play and trust that they are learning tremendous amounts through play. But, I also know that schools
require summer work and understand the struggles with encouraging reluctant children to complete their summer work.  

      So, what can you do to help your reluctant child finish their school work before the first day? Here are some strategies that I hope will help. 


* Empathize: this might be easier than you think. I am sure you don't want to spend your last days of summer inside helping your child finish their school work. Offering your child some empathy can help reduce their stress about the assignments. 

* Offer Choices: sometimes resistance comes from a lack of control over a situation. If you give your child some choices about their assignment, their motivation to complete it, increases. Let your child decide when to do their work, where to do their work and let them choose which books to read. Give your child choices and don't interfere with their decisions. 

* Encourage Autonomy​: Remember that this is your child's assignment and an opportunity for the teacher to see your child's work. It is less important that they cross every i and dot every t and more important that it is their own work. Let them take ownership over their work, work independently and come to you when they need help. Doing this will increase their motivation and increase their confidence. If you struggle with perfectionism, remember two things (1. it does not need to be perfect and 2. children learn more through their mistakes).

Be Creative: If your child is really struggling to finish their assignments, think outside of the box. Learning is a process and the goal of summer work should be for children to learn not to hand in a perfect product. Evaluate how important it is to follow every rule of the assignment.  Maybe your child can get creative with the assignment and:
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* choose a book off of the reading list (one that interests her).
* can he write his own story instead of writing a book report?
* can she make a video book review?

    Think about your child's learning preferences and keep in mind that teaching creativity, flexibility and love of learning are invaluable to long-term academic success. 


Please comment below if you have strategies that have worked with your children in the past. 


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Tuesday Tip: Just Say Yes!

8/9/2016

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    Welcome to my Tuesday Tip. Each week over the summer I will post a  Tuesday Tip on how to encourage learning through play. Read my recent blog post to learn more about how free play supports deep learning. Today's tip is about learning to say yes a little more in order to encourage free and spontaneous play. 
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    Limits, boundaries and schedules are so good for children's development, behavior, and sense of security. But, sometimes as adults we can get so focused on rules and say no without thinking. 

​       Today's tip is to again let it go a little and think before saying no. Our first morning on vacation, my son and his cousins went for a walk on the beach in their pajamas and ended up splashing and jumping in the ocean. 

      When you say yes to little moments like these: jumping in the creek, climbing on rocks, jumping in the ocean in pajamas, playing in the mud, jumping in the pool with your children you give them opportunities for connection, learning and spontaneous and free play.

        Next week I am going to shift my focus to preparing for school as your households start to transition from summer to school. But, for now let's all practice saying yes a little more to play. 

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Tuesday Tip: Keeping learning alive while traveling

8/1/2016

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Welcome to my Tuesday Tip. Each week over the summer I will post a  Tip on how to encourage learning through play. Read my recent blog post to learn more about how free play supports deep learning. Today's tip is about supporting deep learning through travels. 

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Travel in and of itself is a learning experience. While traveling children (and adults):
* have new sensory experiences: sights, sounds, and tastes 
* learn about different places and cultures * practice flexibility (following a different routine and staying away from home)
* learn about history, geography, nature

     Each of my Tuesday Tips have described ways that as adults we can support children's learning without interfering too much. So, what can you do to be intentional about supporting your child's learning while you travel? 

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While en route to your destination consider bringing along activities that engage your child more than screens. I have been known to let me children watch a lot of movies while on trains, planes or automobiles. But, I find that they enjoy other activities just as much (and the less time in front of the screen the better). Here are some of my favorite activities and the skills they teach:

Activity:                                                  Skill Development: 
I spy                                                          Colors, Language Development
Hangman                                                   Writing, Reading, Spelling
Drawing/Coloring                                      Fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination
Guessing Games (20 Questions, trivia)       Problem solving, knowledge acquisition 
 
                    

When you arrive at your destination, continue to encourage active minds by:

* giving lots of time for free play
* allow freedom to explore new surroundings
* visit historic sites and museums
* spend time in nature
* experience the local by taking in the sights, sounds and tastes

* limit screen-time and choose quiet activities, games, drawing or reading when downtime is needed 

Have fun and enjoy a different pace and a different setting!
 
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    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

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