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Mommy Time

9/25/2013

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend a little time away from the children. I have to admit that a few days before going, I had second thoughts. My daughter was being clingy (did she sense I was leaving?); I would miss out on the family time that I look forward to during the week; and I would leave my husband to manage the kids on his own. But, then I thought: my daughter will be fine, I have lots of weekends with the family and very few to myself and my husband is more than capable (and very kindly encouraging me to go).

So, I followed through on my plans and never regretted it. In fact, as soon as I was on my way, I took a deep breath and enjoyed my freedom. I could actually do work as I traveled to my destination (or play on the computer, or read or sleep!) and not have to worry about the needs of my little ones. And, when I arrived at my destination, I was free to do what I wanted without worrying about children's schedules. It was bliss!
So, on the way home, I compiled this list of the benefits of getting away. If you haven't done it lately, here is a reminder of why you need to seize the "mommy time".

Top Ten Reasons to Take a Break:

1. You can hear yourself think!

2. You can have an adult conversation without spelling out words or being interrupted.

3. To eat at a restaurant that doesn't have a kid's menu.

4. You can re-connect with old friends.

5. To enjoy the day without worrying about nap or soccer schedules.

6. Because everyone gets a break from their job, why not parents?

7. So you can put your own needs first for once.

8. It is good to be away long enough to miss your children.

9. So you can enjoy the smiles and hugs when you return home!

10. Having some time to yourself makes you a better parent.

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Ask the Parent Coach: Potty Training

9/12/2013

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My son who is now 3 years and 3 month refuses to poop in the potty. He is diaper free during the day and has been for a few months now. He wears underwear during the day and is totally fine with peeing in the potty and lets me and his teachers know when he needs to go. But, when he has to go #2, he runs to me and asks for a diaper (he only poops at home, never at preschool). When I encourage him to try to use the potty he says it's "too hard" meaning it is uncomfortable for him. He'd rather poop in his diaper. *

Potty training can be very challenging. There is often pressure on parents to have children potty trained by a certain age either through social pressure or pressure from preschool and daycare rules. But, unfortunately, pushing potty training too fast can create some longer term problems. Some issues such as bed-wetting, accidents and urinary tract infections can be related to chronically holding in pee or poo. Here is an article that discusses this further: Dangers of Potty Training too Early.

So, what do you do? Follow your child's pace. Take a step back and let your child know that you have confidence that he will poop on the toilet when he is ready. Avoid the topic for several days and see if his attitude changes. Sometimes children resist more the more we push. They become anxious, worried they won't be able to "perform" and that impedes their ability to get the job done.

If, however, you are facing a deadline for potty training, you can attempt using rewards. Move slowly, avoid putting pressure on your child and offer it as a choice. If you would like to use the potty, you can earn a sticker or a toy from the grab bag for using the potty. But, the key is to let it be your child's decision. The reality: nobody can force another person to use the bathroom. But, you can invite your child to use the bathroom, remind him of his choices and let him know that you love him whether he poops in his diaper or in the toilet.

Have patience and use some of these tips to make the toilet a more enticing option:

1) Have a comfortable, kid-friendly and inviting potty seat. Toilets are not make for little people and can be a bit scary for them. Read this amusing article about the challenges of taking a potty training child to a public restroom: Public Toilets vs Newly Potty Trained Kids

2) Make sure your child is eating enough fiber, fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water so that bowel movements are not too uncomfortable.

3) Normalize going to the potty by talking about where people go to the potty and continuing to read books such as "Even Firefighters go to the Potty" by Wendy Wax and Naomi Wax.

4) BUT, make sure you talk about something other than going to the bathroom so it doesn't become a family obsession!

5) Give your child lots of hugs, kisses and assurance that you love him no matter what and instil confidence that when he is ready, he will poop in the potty just like mommy and daddy!

If you have a parenting question, send me an email and I will post it on my blog or in my newsletter (your identity will remain anonymous).

*The child in the photo is not the subject of this post.

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Mommy Time

Ask the Parent Coach: Potty Training

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