Before becoming parents, many people have visions of those blissful moments of the baby's first steps, the child learning to ride a bike and the teenager's smile as she drives the car by herself for the first time.
In imagination, these are movie-like moments. The sun is shining, music is playing in the background and it is all happening in slow motion so the parent can savor the moment.
Unfortunately, it does not always happen this way. Not that these moments are not happy or exciting, but they may not go as smoothly as hoped. Your baby may stumble after taking her first step, your child may have endured tears of frustration before mastering the bike without training wheels and you may be
avoiding the neighbors looks as your teen drives off blasting loud music and honking her horn.
Learning is messy (literally and figuratively). Literally, learning can create a mess that needs to be cleaned up from the messy faces and floors while children learn to eat their first foods to the spilled milk as a toddler learns to drink from a cup, to mismatched outfits and potty training (need I say more).
Figuratively, learning can be a messy process. Watching your child get frustrated and struggle to tie his own shoe, witnessing your child's disappointment when she did not receive the grade she wanted on her homework and feeling the anxiety (and bumps) as your teen learns to parralel park.
There is a way to avoid these messes: take over and do it yourself. But then your child will not learn for themselves how to do these things (and you will end up working harder than you need to).
Everyday there are moments when a parent can take the opportunity to help their child learn. You have a choice to step out of the way, let them struggle, stay calm, and tolerate their mistakes and messes. By doing this you can build confidence, encourage self reliance and foster autonomy in your child.
Please share your child's messiest learning experience!