My son who is now 3 years and 3 month refuses to poop in the potty. He is diaper free during the day and has been for a few months now. He wears underwear during the day and is totally fine with peeing in the potty and lets me and his teachers know when he needs to go. But, when he has to go #2, he runs to me and asks for a diaper (he only poops at home, never at preschool). When I encourage him to try to use the potty he says it's "too hard" meaning it is uncomfortable for him. He'd rather poop in his diaper. *
Potty training can be very challenging. There is often pressure on parents to have children potty trained by a certain age either through social pressure or pressure from preschool and daycare rules. But, unfortunately, pushing potty training too fast can create some longer term problems. Some issues such as bed-wetting, accidents and urinary tract infections can be related to chronically holding in pee or poo. Here is an article that discusses this further: Dangers of Potty Training too Early.
So, what do you do? Follow your child's pace. Take a step back and let your child know that you have confidence that he will poop on the toilet when he is ready. Avoid the topic for several days and see if his attitude changes. Sometimes children resist more the more we push. They become anxious, worried they won't be able to "perform" and that impedes their ability to get the job done.
If, however, you are facing a deadline for potty training, you can attempt using rewards. Move slowly, avoid putting pressure on your child and offer it as a choice. If you would like to use the potty, you can earn a sticker or a toy from the grab bag for using the potty. But, the key is to let it be your child's decision. The reality: nobody can force another person to use the bathroom. But, you can invite your child to use the bathroom, remind him of his choices and let him know that you love him whether he poops in his diaper or in the toilet.
Have patience and use some of these tips to make the toilet a more enticing option:
1) Have a comfortable, kid-friendly and inviting potty seat. Toilets are not make for little people and can be a bit scary for them. Read this amusing article about the challenges of taking a potty training child to a public restroom: Public Toilets vs Newly Potty Trained Kids
2) Make sure your child is eating enough fiber, fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water so that bowel movements are not too uncomfortable.
3) Normalize going to the potty by talking about where people go to the potty and continuing to read books such as "Even Firefighters go to the Potty" by Wendy Wax and Naomi Wax.
4) BUT, make sure you talk about something other than going to the bathroom so it doesn't become a family obsession!
5) Give your child lots of hugs, kisses and assurance that you love him no matter what and instil confidence that when he is ready, he will poop in the potty just like mommy and daddy!
If you have a parenting question, send me an email and I will post it on my blog or in my newsletter (your identity will remain anonymous).
*The child in the photo is not the subject of this post.
Potty training can be very challenging. There is often pressure on parents to have children potty trained by a certain age either through social pressure or pressure from preschool and daycare rules. But, unfortunately, pushing potty training too fast can create some longer term problems. Some issues such as bed-wetting, accidents and urinary tract infections can be related to chronically holding in pee or poo. Here is an article that discusses this further: Dangers of Potty Training too Early.
So, what do you do? Follow your child's pace. Take a step back and let your child know that you have confidence that he will poop on the toilet when he is ready. Avoid the topic for several days and see if his attitude changes. Sometimes children resist more the more we push. They become anxious, worried they won't be able to "perform" and that impedes their ability to get the job done.
If, however, you are facing a deadline for potty training, you can attempt using rewards. Move slowly, avoid putting pressure on your child and offer it as a choice. If you would like to use the potty, you can earn a sticker or a toy from the grab bag for using the potty. But, the key is to let it be your child's decision. The reality: nobody can force another person to use the bathroom. But, you can invite your child to use the bathroom, remind him of his choices and let him know that you love him whether he poops in his diaper or in the toilet.
Have patience and use some of these tips to make the toilet a more enticing option:
1) Have a comfortable, kid-friendly and inviting potty seat. Toilets are not make for little people and can be a bit scary for them. Read this amusing article about the challenges of taking a potty training child to a public restroom: Public Toilets vs Newly Potty Trained Kids
2) Make sure your child is eating enough fiber, fruits and vegetables and drinking enough water so that bowel movements are not too uncomfortable.
3) Normalize going to the potty by talking about where people go to the potty and continuing to read books such as "Even Firefighters go to the Potty" by Wendy Wax and Naomi Wax.
4) BUT, make sure you talk about something other than going to the bathroom so it doesn't become a family obsession!
5) Give your child lots of hugs, kisses and assurance that you love him no matter what and instil confidence that when he is ready, he will poop in the potty just like mommy and daddy!
If you have a parenting question, send me an email and I will post it on my blog or in my newsletter (your identity will remain anonymous).
*The child in the photo is not the subject of this post.
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