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Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Remember to Play

11/10/2012

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Play is a topic I feel so passionate about that I have written previous posts about play and will dedicate the next few weeks to writing more about it. 

Play is a child's work. Through play, children develop gross and fine motor skills; learn academic, social, and emotional skills; build self confidence and connect with others. Reserving some time for play each day is important for a child's development as well as for the parent-child relationship. 

Play can also prevent misbehavior. Often when parents are struggling with a child behavior issue I remind them to play with their child everyday using the skills I wrote about in this guide: The Best Ways to Play This small investment in time (as little as 10 minutes each day) can reduce the number of behavior issues.    

Happy Playing!

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What to expect when you are expecting your 2nd, 3rd, or...

5/15/2012

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Parents have come to me asking about transitioning to baby number two. Those that are anticipating baby number two are less worried about what the baby's room looks like, whether they will have enough diapers or even how labor and delivery will go. The worries tend to focus around how to manage caring for an
infant and an older child. They worry about how to manage the schedule; how their older child will react to the baby; and how they will have enough energy to meet the needs of each child, not to mention yourself or your partner. (and, on less sleep).

Here are some things you can expect:
 
-Regressive behavior in your older child. Depending on the age of your older hild/children, they may regress in order to vie for some of your attention. There may be regression around sleep, potty training and general behavior. But, don't worry - this too shall pass!

-You will remember how to take care of a newborn. You will be more relaxed this time around making it easier to handle both children. 

-There will be moments when you want to quit your day job and moments that remind you why you love your job!

-It will seem impossible to leave the house with two kids, but you will do it more than you expect for the sake of your older child
(and your own sanity).

-You and your partner will have to work harder to make time for each other and adult conversations. (Don't expect that to happen right away).

-Your older child may want to send the baby back.

-You will be tired and your older child will show you no empathy.

-The first few months are an adjustment period for the whole amily and you will make it through!

Stay tuned for ways to ease this transition, manage some of these challenges and maximize the pleasurable moments.
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Waiting for baby number two

3/2/2012

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Hospital bag, check! 
Carseat in the car, check! 
Cradle set up and ready to go, check!
Clothes washed and folded, check!   

Ok, so, maybe one out of four of those things on the
to-do list is complete. By this time (38 weeks) with my first child, I had packed and repacked my bags several times, reorganized the changing table drawers more than once and gone over my to-do list several times to make sure I was ready.

I was done with work, resting, enjoying time with friends and tackling some long overdue projects (such as finishing my
wedding album from 4 years before).  This time around, I am not
quite that organized, but I am not quite as anxious either. I am also a little more realistic. I know that no matter how organized the dresser drawers are now (which they aren't), they won't stay that way for long. Keeping things organized becomes a pretty low priority when you are up half the night with a newborn. Add to the mix, a toddler, who is in for a huge change, and I am guessing I will be lucky if I am able to keep up with the laundry!   

In some ways taking care of an infant the second time around will
be easier, because we know what we are doing (if we remember, that is). The tough part will be juggling a toddler with even less
sleep than we get right now. But, I know that we, as so many parents have before  us, will  make it through, with support, patience and take  out!
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Why is my preschooler stuttering?

2/15/2012

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Did you know that it is normal for preschoolers to go through a period of dysfluency (pausing between words or repeating sounds). In fact, about 25% of children between the ages of
18 months and 5 years will experience some symptoms of dysfluency. As children develop their language skills they may

undergo a normal period of time where they have difficulty translating their thoughts into words.   

What can we do as parents to help children who are going through this normal period of developmental dysfluency? Don't
tease your child, don't force them to stop stuttering, don't correct them and don't finish their sentences. Be patient, allow them
time to complete their thought, slow down your own speech, reduce the number of questions you ask, and give them your
undivided attention (give them nonverbal cues you are listening
such as eye contact).   

If the stuttering lasts for more than 6 months or continues to occur after 4 or 5 years of age, consult your pediatrician or request a speech evaluation.   

For more information on dysfluency and what you can do to help your child ing 
www.stutteringhelp.org. 
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Back to Basics

10/12/2011

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Sunday was my first time experiencing the Birth and Baby Fair from the other side of the table. I really enjoyed seeing all the glowing faces of expectant mothers and the tired, but content faces of the newborn parents. It was also fun to see lots of toddlers and children enjoying the atmosphere, time with their parents (and sneaking a few treats from the candy bowls along the way). It was a pleasure to be a part of a community with so many great resources for parents. As I am often told by my parents' generation, we are lucky to be parenting now with so many resources and supports available.  
 
The day was especially exciting for me since I had the honor of presenting a workshop - Discipline 101. Thank you to all those who attended. It is one of my favorite workshops to present. I enjoy speaking to parents about their parenting philosphy and calming their anxiety (hopefully) about when and how to discipline. Over the years I have compiled a list of basic parenting principles that promote positive parent-child relationships in addition to providing a solid foundation for effective discipline. It is with some of these very basic principles that we are often able to prevent and squelch challenging behaviors, sometimes eliminating the need for fancy techniques, tools, or tricks. Let's get back to the basics:
 
1. Be Consistent (if you read my blog you have heard this before!)
2. Model the behavior you want to see in your child.
3. Stay calm (take as many deep breaths as you need to!)
4. Acknowledge your child's feelings
5. Teach them to communicate needs/feelings
6. Prepare children for transitions and changes in routine
7. Prevention: a well-fed, well-rested child with lots of positive parental attention is less likely to misbehave. 
8. PLAY with your child EVERYDAY! (even if it is for 10 minutes) 9. Redirect/Distract child to shift mood/change behavior
10.  Be Playful: create games and sing sons to encourage cooperation. 


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Please go to Sleep!

8/10/2011

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According to the National Sleep Foundation, children spend 40% of their childhood asleep. Sleep is crucial for a child's mental and physical development. A child who is well-rested also tends to be a happier and calmer child.  A lack of sleep not only negatively impacts development, but it can also increase the potential for temper tantrums, opposition and whining - all of the behaviors that make life more difficult for parents! As, I have talked about before, a child's behavior is their way of communicating. If you notice an increase of challenging behaviors could it be due to lack of sleep? If so, there could be many factors interrupting their sleep such as reaching developmental milestones; separation anxiety; nightmares; a change in routine and of course teething.   

I have first hand knowledge (as I am sure most parents do) of how a lack of sleep can impact my child's behavior. In the past couple weeks, a combination of a busy social calendar, early morning wakings and missed naps due to a new developmental milestone of climbing out of the crib (a separate blog for another day) has translated into a clingy, whiny, tantruming toddler and parents with dwindling patience. I took the sleep routine for granted and let a few things slide - no more! My priority is shifting back to sleep. We are back to a low key schedule, a consistent routine and strict bedtime and nap times. Hopefully this will translate into some rest and peace for all!    

For additional sleep tips and to see how much sleep your child should be getting at his/her age go to: http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/children-and-sleep.   

Happy Sleeping!


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    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

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