Praise can be a powerful way to boost your child's self esteem, foster the development of specific skills and encourage cooperation. Praise, when executed well has the potential to increase positive behavior as well as encourage the development of positive social skills.
However, some praise is more effective then others. Here are some tips on how to praise effectively:
* Don't over - praise. Focus your praise on behaviors you want your child to improve or behaviors that you know are more difficult for your child and require extra effort.
* Not everything requires praise. Sometimes giving your child neutral feedback is enough. You don't need to inflate your child's ego by telling her she is the next Picasso after drawing a squiggly line. Instead you can describe her work. For example, "wow, you used lots of different colors in your drawing". Letting her know you are paying attention, boosts esteem, improves your relationship and can be more valuable than generic praise.
* Praise specific behavior. "You are sitting quietly while waiting" rather than, "good job". Specific praise let's your child know exactly what he is being praised for and increases the likelihood that he will repeat the positive behavior.
* Praise effort. Praising your child for working hard teaches her
persistence. For example, rather than praising your child for receiving an "A", you can say, "you worked so hard studying for your test".
* Praise behavior rather than your child's traits. Although children feel good, momentarily, when their character is praised, "you are smart", the result could be the opposite of that intended. Children don't feel they have control over their inborn traits and therefore will feel incapable if they are unable to accomplish a task they have been told they are "good at". However if you praise something they have control over, such as their behavior or effort, they are more likely to repeat that behavior.
* Catch your child being good. Surprise your child by praising their behavior when they don't realize you are paying attention. Giving your child positive attention increases positive behaviors and reduces negative behavior.
* Describe the impact of their behavior on others. You can teach your child empathy and social skills while encouraging positive behavior. "I know that Grandma really appreciated it when you helped her with her groceries."
Read more about praising children's efforts and encouraging persistence in this blog post.
However, some praise is more effective then others. Here are some tips on how to praise effectively:
* Don't over - praise. Focus your praise on behaviors you want your child to improve or behaviors that you know are more difficult for your child and require extra effort.
* Not everything requires praise. Sometimes giving your child neutral feedback is enough. You don't need to inflate your child's ego by telling her she is the next Picasso after drawing a squiggly line. Instead you can describe her work. For example, "wow, you used lots of different colors in your drawing". Letting her know you are paying attention, boosts esteem, improves your relationship and can be more valuable than generic praise.
* Praise specific behavior. "You are sitting quietly while waiting" rather than, "good job". Specific praise let's your child know exactly what he is being praised for and increases the likelihood that he will repeat the positive behavior.
* Praise effort. Praising your child for working hard teaches her
persistence. For example, rather than praising your child for receiving an "A", you can say, "you worked so hard studying for your test".
* Praise behavior rather than your child's traits. Although children feel good, momentarily, when their character is praised, "you are smart", the result could be the opposite of that intended. Children don't feel they have control over their inborn traits and therefore will feel incapable if they are unable to accomplish a task they have been told they are "good at". However if you praise something they have control over, such as their behavior or effort, they are more likely to repeat that behavior.
* Catch your child being good. Surprise your child by praising their behavior when they don't realize you are paying attention. Giving your child positive attention increases positive behaviors and reduces negative behavior.
* Describe the impact of their behavior on others. You can teach your child empathy and social skills while encouraging positive behavior. "I know that Grandma really appreciated it when you helped her with her groceries."
Read more about praising children's efforts and encouraging persistence in this blog post.
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