"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the
o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." ~William Shakespeare
Grief is a complicated process. The holidays can be a particularly difficult time since it can trigger feelings of sadness about loved ones who have died. This year the people of Newtown, Connecticut and across the United States are grieving the death of the students and teachers of Sandhook Elementary School. Explaining death to children can create more angst in parents. In an attempt to protect children from sorrow and fear of death, parents avoid the topic. A parent's own grief can make it
especially challenging to talk to children about death.
Here are a few tips in how to talk to children about death:
*Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve in order to help your child grieve. Witnessing healthy grieving is important lesson for children in understanding death, expressing their feelings and commemorating the life of the deceased.
*Consider a child's development age, maturity, and relationship with the deceased when determining how to talk to children about death.
*Keep the explanation honest and simple. Avoid words such as "lost", "passed away" or "gone". These Euphemisms can be confusing.
*Encourage your child to express their feelings and ask questions. Due to a child's short attention span and way of processing information, it is normal for them to take small bits of information, go play and then come back later with more questions.
*Celebrate the deceased through photos, memories and rituals (such as lighting a candle or releasing a balloon). Children live in the moment and will appreciate some laughs among the tears (as much as adults do).
*Pay attention to behavioral changes such as increased irritability, impaired attention span and separation anxiety. To mitigate these behavioral changes, give your child extra love, reassurance and attention.
If you want more information about talking to your children about death, feel free to contact me and check out these great resources:
http://www.griefwatch.com/media/wysiwyg/Tear_Soup_Tips.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Children-Grieve-Theresa-Huntley/dp/080662549X
o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." ~William Shakespeare
Grief is a complicated process. The holidays can be a particularly difficult time since it can trigger feelings of sadness about loved ones who have died. This year the people of Newtown, Connecticut and across the United States are grieving the death of the students and teachers of Sandhook Elementary School. Explaining death to children can create more angst in parents. In an attempt to protect children from sorrow and fear of death, parents avoid the topic. A parent's own grief can make it
especially challenging to talk to children about death.
Here are a few tips in how to talk to children about death:
*Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve in order to help your child grieve. Witnessing healthy grieving is important lesson for children in understanding death, expressing their feelings and commemorating the life of the deceased.
*Consider a child's development age, maturity, and relationship with the deceased when determining how to talk to children about death.
*Keep the explanation honest and simple. Avoid words such as "lost", "passed away" or "gone". These Euphemisms can be confusing.
*Encourage your child to express their feelings and ask questions. Due to a child's short attention span and way of processing information, it is normal for them to take small bits of information, go play and then come back later with more questions.
*Celebrate the deceased through photos, memories and rituals (such as lighting a candle or releasing a balloon). Children live in the moment and will appreciate some laughs among the tears (as much as adults do).
*Pay attention to behavioral changes such as increased irritability, impaired attention span and separation anxiety. To mitigate these behavioral changes, give your child extra love, reassurance and attention.
If you want more information about talking to your children about death, feel free to contact me and check out these great resources:
http://www.griefwatch.com/media/wysiwyg/Tear_Soup_Tips.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Children-Grieve-Theresa-Huntley/dp/080662549X
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