"Mommy, how are babies made?"
At some point, your child will have questions about a difficult topic such as death, illness, divorce or the birds and the bees.
These questions often catch parents off guard and leave them stumbling over their words. So, be prepared. Children are often thinking about things long before parents are ready to discuss them.
Although these questions require different there are some principles you can follow to respond appropriately and with confidence:
1. Respond only to the question posed. Often parents get nervous and give more information than the child is ready to handle.
2. Wait for a follow up question before expanding. If a child wants more information he will ask. Give him time to respond. If he does not respond, you can ask if he has any further questions before moving on to a different topic.
3. Expect that your child will come back at a later date with more questions. This break in questions is a great time to discuss with your partner how you want to talk to your child about this topic.
4. Be direct and honest. Although it is a parental instinct to protect children from potential hurt, it can be more damaging to lie. Answer your child's questions with brief, direct and honest answers.
5. Use age appropriate language. Consider your child's developmental age when deciding how to answer your child's question. Your language will most likely be different if you are talking to a 4 year old versus a 14 year old regardless of the topic.
6. Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with your child periodically to see if they have any further questions about the topic. Children are often thinking about something more than we realize. Verbalizing can help them to process information better and can reduce the anxiety they may feel about the topic.
If you have further questions about how to discuss a specific topic, please email me and I will help you come up with a plan.
At some point, your child will have questions about a difficult topic such as death, illness, divorce or the birds and the bees.
These questions often catch parents off guard and leave them stumbling over their words. So, be prepared. Children are often thinking about things long before parents are ready to discuss them.
Although these questions require different there are some principles you can follow to respond appropriately and with confidence:
1. Respond only to the question posed. Often parents get nervous and give more information than the child is ready to handle.
2. Wait for a follow up question before expanding. If a child wants more information he will ask. Give him time to respond. If he does not respond, you can ask if he has any further questions before moving on to a different topic.
3. Expect that your child will come back at a later date with more questions. This break in questions is a great time to discuss with your partner how you want to talk to your child about this topic.
4. Be direct and honest. Although it is a parental instinct to protect children from potential hurt, it can be more damaging to lie. Answer your child's questions with brief, direct and honest answers.
5. Use age appropriate language. Consider your child's developmental age when deciding how to answer your child's question. Your language will most likely be different if you are talking to a 4 year old versus a 14 year old regardless of the topic.
6. Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with your child periodically to see if they have any further questions about the topic. Children are often thinking about something more than we realize. Verbalizing can help them to process information better and can reduce the anxiety they may feel about the topic.
If you have further questions about how to discuss a specific topic, please email me and I will help you come up with a plan.
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