A parent, recently asked me this question: "My five-year-old (and oldest child) is very demanding of my attention when it comes to play. He'd rather wait around, pester, and complain about my lack of attention (while I do dishes, laundry etc.) until I finally am done. Of course, we are tired of grousing at each other by that stage. Is there anyway to keep the kids happy without the house falling down around our ears?"
Very good question! I think we have all been there. We have a list of a million things to do and a child (or children) who needs, wants, demands our attention. So how do we do it?
* Spend 15 minutes of play time. 15 minutes may not seem like much, but the key is that you are giving your child your undivided attention - no interruptions. If you start the day with the 15 minutes, your child may feel a bit more satisfied and might be willing to wait out the chores.
* As much as possible try and create a routine or schedule that you stick with so your child gets accustomed to when you need to do the chores. You have breakfast, clean up, 15 minutes of playtime, then the chore of the day. I realize I am oversimplifying
life, but the more predictable things are for children the better.
* Enlist your child's help so they are involved in the chores and spending time with you. It may take longer, but having your child help gather the laundry, pour in the soap and press start can be very fulfilling for your child and teaches him responsibility.
* Give your child a sense of when you will be done. You can set a timer or put on music and let your child know that once they go off, you will be ready to play.
* Create a chore list. Let your child know: "This morning I need to change the sheets on the bed, empty the dishwasher and fold the clothes." Have her help you write a list (or draw a picture of each chore). Once the chore is complete you can both cross the chore
off the list together.
* Give him a task to work on while you do the chores: finding all the legos you hide in the living room, drawing a family portrait, or counting how many letter A's he can find in his favorite book.
* If these ideas don't placate your child, try firmer tactics like ignoring the grousing; giving her a choice to help with the tasks or playing quietly; offering a reward for her patience; or removing a privilege.
If you have a parenting question, please comment here or email me at kerrie@parentcoachsf.com and I will respond in an upcoming blog. Your identity will remain anonymous.
Very good question! I think we have all been there. We have a list of a million things to do and a child (or children) who needs, wants, demands our attention. So how do we do it?
* Spend 15 minutes of play time. 15 minutes may not seem like much, but the key is that you are giving your child your undivided attention - no interruptions. If you start the day with the 15 minutes, your child may feel a bit more satisfied and might be willing to wait out the chores.
* As much as possible try and create a routine or schedule that you stick with so your child gets accustomed to when you need to do the chores. You have breakfast, clean up, 15 minutes of playtime, then the chore of the day. I realize I am oversimplifying
life, but the more predictable things are for children the better.
* Enlist your child's help so they are involved in the chores and spending time with you. It may take longer, but having your child help gather the laundry, pour in the soap and press start can be very fulfilling for your child and teaches him responsibility.
* Give your child a sense of when you will be done. You can set a timer or put on music and let your child know that once they go off, you will be ready to play.
* Create a chore list. Let your child know: "This morning I need to change the sheets on the bed, empty the dishwasher and fold the clothes." Have her help you write a list (or draw a picture of each chore). Once the chore is complete you can both cross the chore
off the list together.
* Give him a task to work on while you do the chores: finding all the legos you hide in the living room, drawing a family portrait, or counting how many letter A's he can find in his favorite book.
* If these ideas don't placate your child, try firmer tactics like ignoring the grousing; giving her a choice to help with the tasks or playing quietly; offering a reward for her patience; or removing a privilege.
If you have a parenting question, please comment here or email me at kerrie@parentcoachsf.com and I will respond in an upcoming blog. Your identity will remain anonymous.
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