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Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Taming Tantrums

3/5/2013

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Whether you call them the terrible twos or the terrific twos, two-year-olds usually have tantrums. And, unfortunately, tantruming doesn't always stop when children turn two!

It is one of the most common reasons parents contact me. Tantrums are embarrassing, hard to ignore and can be frustrating.

Tantrums are the result of a toddler's emotional immaturity, inability to regulate their feelings and lack of impulse control. A perfect storm.


Most parents have experienced their child screaming, crying, flailing and making a scene. So what can you do about tantrums?

1. Understand them - what is a child saying by their behavior (Is she hungry, tired, or just want something they can't have?)


2.  Prevent them - a well-fed, well-rested child with lots of positive parental attention is less likely to throw tantrums. And, if you notice your child becoming irritable, try and figure out what he might need to prevent it from escalating into a tantrum.

3. "Accept them" - it happens to everyone, don't worry about what others think and try and stay calm. It is much easier to manage them if you are calm, and your child needs you to be calm in order for her to calm down.

    4. Manage them - there are different techniques which I list below. Which one you use depends on your child's temperament, the intensity of the tantrum and the environment you are in when the tantrum is occurring. 

  • Ignore it if there are not safety concerns.
  • Read a book out loud while sitting near your child or redirect him and try and engage him in a different activity.
  • Acknowledge your child's feelings.
  • When your child is calm, teach her calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting, or asking for a hug and remind her when she is tantruming.
  • Remove your child from the triggering situation.
  • Be Consistent. Do not give in.

What are your tantrum taming tricks?

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    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

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