Many children have nighttime fears. Fears typically start to surface around 3 years old. Even children who slept in the total dark before, may start to ask for the door open or a light on at bedtime.
It is normal for children to be afraid of the dark, monsters or even shadows in the room. For most children these fears are very real and it can make it difficult for them to fall asleep. Because these fears are real it is important to take them seriously and to help children develop a plan for managing these fears.
If your child is afraid of the dark let them pick out a new nightlight, leave the door open or the closet light on.
Monsters can be a little more challenging to deal with. Many experts say do not use monster spray to get rid of monsters because you don't want to reinforce the idea that monsters are real. But, for some children they do feel real and it is important to validate their fear.
Consider your child's developmental stage. If they are around 3 years old they are magical thinkers and therefore you cannot persuade them that the monsters do not lurch around every corner of their room.
So here is what I recommend:
1. Listen to your child's fears and validate how they feel. "You are afraid".
2. Create a plan before bedtime and before it gets dark.
2. Ask them what they think would help. "What do you think will help you feel safe tonight?"
3. Help your child get rid of the pretend monsters. "Monsters are pretend, but I know you are afraid of the pretend monsters. Let me help you get rid of the pretend monsters." You can use monster spray or any other scare tactic your clever child comes up with.
4. Reassure your child that it is your job to keep your child safe and remind him of all the ways that he is safe in your home and in his bed.
5. During the day you can talk about "nice monsters" like cookie monster or the characters on the show, Henry Hugglemonster, so that she sees a sample of a non-threatening monster.
The bottom line is that the monster may not be real, but your child's fear is real (and the monster may just represent a fear he cannot verbalize). Helping your child develop ways to deal with their fears and starts with validating them!
It is normal for children to be afraid of the dark, monsters or even shadows in the room. For most children these fears are very real and it can make it difficult for them to fall asleep. Because these fears are real it is important to take them seriously and to help children develop a plan for managing these fears.
If your child is afraid of the dark let them pick out a new nightlight, leave the door open or the closet light on.
Monsters can be a little more challenging to deal with. Many experts say do not use monster spray to get rid of monsters because you don't want to reinforce the idea that monsters are real. But, for some children they do feel real and it is important to validate their fear.
Consider your child's developmental stage. If they are around 3 years old they are magical thinkers and therefore you cannot persuade them that the monsters do not lurch around every corner of their room.
So here is what I recommend:
1. Listen to your child's fears and validate how they feel. "You are afraid".
2. Create a plan before bedtime and before it gets dark.
2. Ask them what they think would help. "What do you think will help you feel safe tonight?"
3. Help your child get rid of the pretend monsters. "Monsters are pretend, but I know you are afraid of the pretend monsters. Let me help you get rid of the pretend monsters." You can use monster spray or any other scare tactic your clever child comes up with.
4. Reassure your child that it is your job to keep your child safe and remind him of all the ways that he is safe in your home and in his bed.
5. During the day you can talk about "nice monsters" like cookie monster or the characters on the show, Henry Hugglemonster, so that she sees a sample of a non-threatening monster.
The bottom line is that the monster may not be real, but your child's fear is real (and the monster may just represent a fear he cannot verbalize). Helping your child develop ways to deal with their fears and starts with validating them!
RSS Feed
