Have you ever made a parenting decision because you were worried about how someone might judge your parenting?
Have you ever engaged in a battle of wills to comb your child's hair because you were worried what his teacher might think about your parenting?
Have you ever put your child in time out at the playground because you worried that other parents would think you are too permissive even though you don't use time out at home?
I have made decisions based on what I think other people want me to do, rather than what is best for my child. But, when I pay attention to something other than my parenting philosophy or my child's needs I do not make good decisions. When I focus on what the world may think of me as a parent, it clouds my judgement and instead of focusing on my parenting goal, to connect with my children and teach them to make good decisions, I put on a show for strangers. Nobody needs a show.
So, my advice to you (and myself) is to:
Don't assume.
You don't know what someone else is really thinking, so you cannot assume that they are expecting you to parent a certain way.
Trust your parenting.
What's best for your child may not be what your friend neighbor or store clerk thinks is best.
When we allow the fear of being judged speak louder than our parenting what other people think and let those worries speak louder than our own parenting style and our child's needs then we make mistakes.
Think before you act.
Next time you are ready to dig your heel's in and engage in a power struggle, stop to think why. Is this something important to your or someone else? Is it a safety issue? Will it make your child a better person? Will it make you or your child happier? Will it teach your child an important lesson? Will it matter in an hour, in a week, in a year?
What is the silliest thing you have done when you thought someone was watching your parenting?
Have you ever engaged in a battle of wills to comb your child's hair because you were worried what his teacher might think about your parenting?
Have you ever put your child in time out at the playground because you worried that other parents would think you are too permissive even though you don't use time out at home?
I have made decisions based on what I think other people want me to do, rather than what is best for my child. But, when I pay attention to something other than my parenting philosophy or my child's needs I do not make good decisions. When I focus on what the world may think of me as a parent, it clouds my judgement and instead of focusing on my parenting goal, to connect with my children and teach them to make good decisions, I put on a show for strangers. Nobody needs a show.
So, my advice to you (and myself) is to:
Don't assume.
You don't know what someone else is really thinking, so you cannot assume that they are expecting you to parent a certain way.
Trust your parenting.
What's best for your child may not be what your friend neighbor or store clerk thinks is best.
When we allow the fear of being judged speak louder than our parenting what other people think and let those worries speak louder than our own parenting style and our child's needs then we make mistakes.
Think before you act.
Next time you are ready to dig your heel's in and engage in a power struggle, stop to think why. Is this something important to your or someone else? Is it a safety issue? Will it make your child a better person? Will it make you or your child happier? Will it teach your child an important lesson? Will it matter in an hour, in a week, in a year?
What is the silliest thing you have done when you thought someone was watching your parenting?
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