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Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Tuesday Tip: Ending Homework Battles

8/29/2016

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​   Be Consistent.  Set a designated time for homework. Ideally homework is scheduled to be completed at the same time each day, with adjustments for extracurricular activities or unscheduled events. Consider offering downtime before starting homework – preferably unstructured play or outdoor play.
 
     Location, Location, Location. Consider your child and their temperament when deciding what type of space is best for completing her homework. Is she easily distracted by noise? Does she like to be near people? If she is left alone in her room will she play instead of doing her homework? Nobody lives in a library, but ideally your child has a space to work where there are no screens and few distractions.
 
   One Step at a Time. Your child (or yourself) might get overwhelmed by the amount of homework. Break the work up into manageable parts. Start with the one that is the easiest or most enjoyable for your child (let him choose).

     Gentle Motivation. Offer your child gentle encouragement while they are working on their homework. Praise them for their problem solving skills, concentration and their effort. Don’t rush them, but encourage them to stay focused. If they are losing focus give them a break.
 
    Give ‘em a Break. Taking short breaks can help increase concentration. Guide your child through 5-minute breaks in between tasks or when they are feeling frustrated or losing focus. Examples: Jumping Jacks, breathing exercises, stress ball.
     
    Process over Product. Remember (and remind your child) that this is your child’s homework and the goal of it is to learn. Homework does not need to be perfect. If you see something wrong, encourage your child to take a closer look at the problem, but avoid taking it over for them or shaming them for getting something wrong.

   Problem Solving.  Help them develop problem-solving skills (and persistence skills) by encouraging them to keep trying and solve the problem on their own. You can help, but don’t solve it for them.
 
     Know when to call in reinforcements. If there is still drama after trying these tips, consider asking for support. Meet with your child’s teacher to discuss their expectations and how to help your child be successful with homework. Consider a tutor or asking another student to help your child with homework. Call for parenting support to find out if your good intentions are inadvertently contributing to the drama.

     When possible, include your child in the decisions about how to handle homework. Ask them when and where they would like to do their homework. Offer them support, but encourage them to work as independently as possible. I know there is a lot of pressure on parents to hover over children when they are doing their homework, but the long term goal is for them to develop the skills to study and learn independently. 


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    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

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