Recently I observed a child alternating between tearful cries and hysterical laughing. The adults in the room couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry either. This child was so filled with emotion he didn’t know what to do. A child’s experience of emotion can be so overwhelming and powerful that it can be difficult for them to manage. Let’s face it emotions can be overwhelming for adults too. Understanding and coping with emotions is a learned skill – we need to be their teachers.
We can do this by acknowledging their feelings. “You are sad because we had to leave the park,” or “it is frustrating when you don’t get what you want”. Acknowledging feelings demonstrates empathy and increases your child’s understanding of their own emotions.
Most adults appreciate when someone acknowledges our feelings. Empathy validates our feelings. It also comforts us and lessens those feelings of worry, sadness or anger. Similarly, children want our empathy. They want to know that we are attuned to their feelings. When my son is crying because he did not get the truck he wanted, I don’t need to give in to him to make him feel better, but I can acknowledge his feelings. “You are mad because you wanted the truck.” It doesn’t make the tears go away immediately, but it validates his feelings and helps him process them.
The simple act of acknowledging feelings can help children manage their feelings. Stay tuned for more ideas on increasing your child's emotional intelligence.
We can do this by acknowledging their feelings. “You are sad because we had to leave the park,” or “it is frustrating when you don’t get what you want”. Acknowledging feelings demonstrates empathy and increases your child’s understanding of their own emotions.
Most adults appreciate when someone acknowledges our feelings. Empathy validates our feelings. It also comforts us and lessens those feelings of worry, sadness or anger. Similarly, children want our empathy. They want to know that we are attuned to their feelings. When my son is crying because he did not get the truck he wanted, I don’t need to give in to him to make him feel better, but I can acknowledge his feelings. “You are mad because you wanted the truck.” It doesn’t make the tears go away immediately, but it validates his feelings and helps him process them.
The simple act of acknowledging feelings can help children manage their feelings. Stay tuned for more ideas on increasing your child's emotional intelligence.
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