• Home
  • Services
  • About
  • Contact
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Temperament Form
  • Workshops
Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Tuesday Tip: Stop Telling Kids what To Do!

9/12/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
​I don't mean stop setting limits or holding expectations for your child, but stop intervening when it's unnecessary. 

A child's job is to learn to do things for herself and when adults do for children what they can do for themselves, they send a message:

"You are not capable"

But, when adults step aside (in a loving, empathic and supportive way), they send a different message:

"You are capable, I have faith in you"

When I stopped telling my children what to do they blossomed. They gained confidence in their abilities, they developed problem solving skills, they were less anxious, took more risks, and learned to recover from mistakes.  All of these skills are essential for optimal learning, development and success.

So, I fight my instincts to intervene too quickly or make decisions for my children in order to give them the space to do it themselves. 

Instead of dressing my daughter for school so she looks cute, I let her choose her outfit and dress herself. 

Instead of insisting my child makes his bed the way I like it, I step aside and let him do it his way. 

​Instead of jumping in every time my children argue, I give them time and space to resolve their conflict on their own. 

Instead of telling my son how to spell a difficult word I encourage him to figure it out on his own. 

Instead of getting angry when my child spills her water, I tell her that everyone makes mistakes.  

Instead of cleaning up my daughter's spilt water, I offer her a towel to clean it up herself. 


It is hard to see children struggle, to let them do things imperfectly, to make mistakes and to let go of some control. But, when we do, we offer them invaluable experiences that instill confidence, opportunities to develop new skills and the courage to take risks. 

​




Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

    Archives

    June 2018
    February 2018
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    January 2016
    August 2015
    March 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    May 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    January 2011

    Categories

    All
    Activities
    Allergies
    Baby
    Behavior
    Birth Order
    Book Review
    Children
    Development
    Discipline
    Doctor
    Gifts
    Halloween
    Holidays
    Language Development
    Learning
    Living In The Moment
    Moving
    Parenting
    Persistence
    Picky Eating
    Play
    Reading
    Resolutions
    Safety
    Sharing
    Sleep
    Speech
    Storm
    Stuttering
    Superstorm Sandy
    Tantrum
    Temperament
    Traditions
    Travel
    Waiting
    Yelling

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from brettneilson, rolands.lakis, koroshiya, beelerspace, kellywoolen, Amy McKenzie, nerissa's ring, surlygirl, Enrico Matteucci ☸, aarongilson, dawnhops, Peter Werkman (www.peterwerkman.nl), jem, National Assembly For Wales / Cynulliad Cymru, erin_everlasting, christine [cbszeto], emrank, imcountingufoz, frotzed2, ebmarquez, rumpleteaser, brewbooks, ToddMorris, nutrition education