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Kerrie LaRosaParent Coach

Use Your Words

8/4/2011

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Parents tell me they feel silly when they say this. It is tough for both children and adults alike to translate feelings into words and effectively communicate them. For children, especially toddlers, learning to communicate their needs and feelings is a very crucial element to their development and can alleviate a lot of frustration on the part of both parent and child.   

When children don't know how to communicate it can be frustrating. The result is often one of the dreaded behaviors - a tantrum, throwing, hitting, whining. Most misbehavior is an attempt to communicate. Tantrums can mean a number of things from, you didn't give me what I want to I am so tired I don't even know what to do! Throwing a toy could signal frustration about the inability to master a developmental skill. Physical aggression such as hitting or biting could indicate anger that a child took their toy. Whining could mean, I am hungry, bored or you are not paying attention to me.     

Often, when we listen to what our children are trying to communicate, we can help give them the words to express themselves. These words can be powerful enough to minimize those dreaded behaviors. Teach them how to say "help, please", "I would like my toy back", or "snack, please."    

Start with your own words. Model effective communication by using simple, short and direct sentences. Encourage your child to verbalize (or sign depending on their age and speech development) their needs rather than pointing, whining or crying. Soon, they will learn that when they communicate effectively, they get a prompt response from those around them.    Good luck and happy communicating!
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    Kerrie LaRosa is a parent coach and a mother of two children. She draws on her professional expertise and personal experience to provide tired parents with some quick tips, resources and fun anecdotes.

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